Sandisk Sansa View 8GB Media Player with FM TunerSandisk Sansa View 8GB Media Player with FM Tuner

Airlines, let’s make a deal.

Your stupid in-flight entertainment consoles are super annoying. Is air travel not sufficiently horrible already?

Haven’t we suffered enough, with the delays, and the pointless security pageantry, and the overbooking, and the prohibition on outside beverages, and the nickling-and-diming for basic human comforts? Do you really have to throw “Three and a Half Men” into the mix, too?

We’ll admit: There was a time, years ago, before personal media doohickeys became widely available, when it would probably have seemed kind of cool to put tiny teevees in the backs of the seats. But you didn’t have them then. Instead, you have them now. And the thing about now is that anyone who wants to watch videos during his flight can just bring along a Sandisk Sansa View. It’s slim and lightweight for easy portability, and it holds eight gigs’ worth of video. (It’s got a microSD™ expansion slot for more memory, too.)

Plus, every Sansa View owner can stock his or her media player with stuff he or she actually wants to watch. That beats channel-surfing from New York to Chicago only to discover that in-flight TV hasn’t got any better programming than terrestrial TV. Hey, “Everybody Loves Raymond” is on. Click. Hey, “The Amazing Race” is on. Click. Hey, Sean Hannity is on. Click. Hey, they’re showing “Marley and Me.” Click.

“Hey,” we can almost hear in-plane boob-tube apologists whinging, “if you don’t like it, turn it off! Some people appreciate a distraction from the stress of flying.”

First of all, if you pulled passengers’ toenails out with pliers, it would also distract them from the stress of flying. That doesn’t mean we’d be grateful. And secondly, we’ve found that you can’t actually turn the sets off. (Well, you can, but they just keep reanimating themselves every twenty minutes or so, coming back at you over and over like a slasher movie villain.)

So here’s our proposal: We’ll make the Sandisk Sansa View available at a perfectly reasonable price—well within the reach of anyone who can afford your colossally expensive fares—and you’ll ditch these horrible little seat-back TVs. Fair? That way, everyone who wants to watch videos will be able to, and the rest of us won’t feel so much like Ludovico Technique test subjects. We’ll even show people where to buy a docking speaker for it, though we hope they won’t use that on planes.

Then, with the money you save by not having to operate your awful in-flight “entertainment” system, maybe you can go back to bringing us a cocktail once in a while. Everybody wins.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot

Features:

• Pocket sized entertainment center, 2.4” screen is great for watching TV shows, movies, or photos
• Sleek design, slim, thin and light weight for easy portability, 8.8mm at it’s slimmest part
• The Sansa View is a sleek yet simple MP3 player with full motion video capabilities, perfect for you to enjoy your favorite movies and shows while on the go
• Backlit scroll wheel and vibrant 2.4” widescreen display make it easy to navigate to a music library or video collection
• Digital FM tuner, on-the-fly FM recording, and voice recording
• Features microSD™ expansion slot for additional memory capacity
• Supports Subscription Music Stores and Video Stores

Specifications:

• Memory Capacity: 8GB
• Expansion Slot: microSDHC
• Battery: 35 hours music & 7 hours video playback
• Headphone Jacks: 1
• Radio: FM tuner/20 presets
• Recorder: Built-in microphone
• Supported Music Subscriptions: Yahoo! Music, Rhapsody To Go, Napster, eMusic
• Supported Video Services: Amazon Unboxed, MovieLink and Guba
• Audio Books: Audible
• File Support: MPEG4, WMV, H.264, MP3, WMA, WAV, non-DRM AAC
• Dimensions: 4.29” x 1.95” x .41”
• Weight: 2.9 oz
• Screen Size: 2.4”

System Requirements:

• Operating System: Windows XP or Vista
• Programs: WMP 10 or 11
• Connection: USB 2.0

Additional Photos

* Sansa View with Headphones

In The Box:

* Sansa 8gb View
* USB Cable
* Headphones

Whistler Total Band Protection Laser and Radar DetectorWhistler Total Band Protection Laser and Radar Detector

Whistler: The Story of Whistler

The intense, hard-driving sound of Whistler hit the underground radar-detector scene with the impact of a falling anvil. But somehow, the dream turned into a whistling nightmare.

Crash, Guns ‘n’ Whistles: Those two just put on an amazing show. I remember this festival in LA in ‘84 where the SL500 played this incredible laser-detector solo with a jockstrap.

Odin Thorloki, Whistallica: People say those two guys are lower-end models. Not me. They taught me how to rock. Saved my life. Saved me from a few speeding tickets, too.

Whistler DE-1732: Most people know us by the early albums, like Laserbeast and Radar on Radar. But we’ve also got Radar Gun, Love Laser, Tone Alert, Radarocalypse!, Radar Gun Live! and No Speed Limits In Hell. We’re not just old guys getting back into this. We’ve been at it all along.

Whistler SL500: I met DE-1732 back in Toronto. I’d been wanting to start a band for a while, but I’m kind of a no-frills guy. Not much of a rock star, you know? So I was at our church beaver roast one Friday when I saw this really cool-looking radar detector with this wicked smile. When he told me he was VG-2 undetectable, just like me, I knew this was the guy.

Whistler DE-1732: That’s actually what our first song together was about. “Immunity”, it was called. “Uniformed inspector / Seeking your detector / His idea of fun is / Seeing you punished / But you’re immuuuuuune!”

Whistler SL500: We oughtta do that one again.

Narrator: So how’d the latest tour go?

Whistler SL500: Sucked.

Whistler DE-1732: Yeah, it was pretty rough. For one thing, we’re illegal in some states, so that was kind of a hassle. And we missed a bunch of gigs ‘cause we couldn’t use our GPS.

Whistler SL500: The tour bus only had two DC jacks. We call it a bus. It’s really more of a minivan. Anyway, me and DE-1732 had to use those jacks. So no GPS, no gigs, no payment. Nobody wants to pay you in this business.

Whistler DE-1732: Everything went wrong on the tour, but, like, at least there was a tour for it to go wrong on, you know? The way I see it is, there’s all kinds of left undone, and done or not done or partially done, and all these things we meant to do but something good was on TV, so like, things are bad, but they can’t get worse, because if they did, it’d be even worse. That’s kinda my philosophy, eh?

Whistler SL500: Now we got this deal going with this discount deal-a-day web site. I think it could totally turn things around.

Whistler DE-1732: Hope springs eternal, right? Whistler ‘till they put me in a landfill!

Warranty: One Year Whistler

Features:

• X, K, Ka, and Super Wideband Ka Detection
• 360° Protection against all types of Laser
• Instant-On (Pulse) Detection
• Safety Warning System™ (SWS™) Alert
• VG-2 Undetectable
• VG-2 Alert
• LED Display
• Signal Strength Indicator for Radar Bands
• City and Highway Modes
• Auto and Manual Muting
• Vehicle Battery Saver
• Volume Control
• Self Test

Additional Photos

* DE-1732 Top View
* DE-1732 Side View
* DE-1732 Front View
* DE-1732 with Mount and DC Cable
* SL500 Top View
* SL500 Side View
* SL500 Front View
* SL500 with Mount and DC Cable

In the box:

* Radar Detector
* Suction Cup Windshield Mounting Bracket
* DC Power Cord
* Manual

Pinnacle Video TransferPinnacle Video Transfer

Based on a true story

This is where Sammy’s Nads cashes in, big time

You’ve probably seen this summer’s blockbuster comedy hit, “Twenty-Two Break-Ups.” It’s hilarious, right? It’s got that guy, from that other movie, the one where he’s a cop or something? And that girl, too, who was in a magazine that my roommate gets. Homina, homina! Anyway.

You know how the guy’s friend is in a band called Sammy’s Nads? You might not remember. He’s not a main character, really. But he’s the guy’s friend. The one with the messy hair. Remember he’s in a band? When they go to the bar, in the beginning, there’s a band? OK, well the band is called Sammy’s Nads, and they have a short conversation about what a dumb name it is.

Well, CHECK THIS OUT. When I was in high school, I was in the original Sammy’s Nads. For real! That was my band. We were pretty good, actually. We wrote a whole concept EP about the U.S. invasion of Panama. You remember? Manuel Noriega? No?

Before your time, I guess. Anyway. The point is, another guy in Sammy’s Nads, he went on to study at Yale, where he sort of knew this dude. I guess they were friends, or sort of friends, anyway. And this dude, he later went on to be a big-shot TV and movie producer. And he produced—can you guess? “Twenty-Two Break-Ups.” So it’s totally obvious that my Sammy’s Nads is the inspiration for the Sammy’s Nads in the movie.

So it seems to me that, as the originator of the real-life Sammy’s Nads, I’m entitled to some compensation. It doesn’t have to be a lot. I don’t need, like, a share of the box office. But that guy who’s supposedly “the real-life Kramer,” he got to run for mayor of New York City. So maybe something like that.

What’s that? You don’t believe me. Well, guess what? I HAVE PROOF.

I have a whole bunch of videotapes from old Sammy’s Nads shows. Until now, I’ve had no way to distribute the footage. What, I’m going to dub a hundred VHS copies and send them to entertainment news outlets? Way too pricey, brah. Here’s a better idea. I’m going to snag me one of these Pinnacle video transfer whatchamajigs and put that stuff on YouTube for the public.

The sweet thing about the Pinnacle is that it can save directly to a USB drive, certain iPods, or a Sony PSP. You just plug in the hookups and there you go, no computer required. That’s cool for me because my Sammy’s Nads tapes are all over at my Mom’s place, and she doesn’t have a computer. The encoding’s fast, too, which will save time. I have a lot of tapes to go through.

You can use it to record your video gaming sessions, too! And I suppose some people might also use this thing to circumvent copy protection when making their own legal backups of copy-protected DVDs. Not me, though—I regard that as media piracy, which takes money right out of the pockets of show-biz bigwigs like I’m going to be after the Sammy’s Nads scandal breaks.

Meanwhile, let’s hope “Twenty-Two Break-Ups” stays hot for a while, because I can’t get over to Mom’s for a couple weeks, so my YouTube videos won’t be ready for a while, and timing is everything with this kind of deal. As we used to sing in the old Sammy’s Nads classic “Chipmunk of Love,” “choose your moment and own it / ‘cause the sun don’t shine all the time.”

Yeah, it does sound kind of stupid when you just read it like that. You’d have to hear it with the guitar and stuff, though. We were always more about the groove than the lyrics anyway.

You know, I just thought of this, but I hope that Samuel Bleecker doesn’t come after me once I make it big as “the original Sammy’s Nads frontman.” It was his nads we named the band after. So he’s probably got a legitimate claim, too.

Warranty: 90 Day Pinnacle

Additional Photos:

• USB Interface and Power Interfaces
• Composite Audio / Composite Video / S Video Interfaces

In the box:

• Pinnacle Video Transfer Hardware
• Audio/Video cable 3 x RCA
• Power supply unit
• Resource CD
• Quick Start Guide

iRobot Roomba 535 Robotic Vacuum with Lighthouse TechnologyiRobot Roomba 535 Robotic Vacuum with Lighthouse Technology

Fully Compliant With The Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act

Just like the things you don’t want in your kitchen, a robot is there when you aren’t. Think of it as an enchanted broom that can’t be stopped!

Dear Woot,

I’m a small brown field mouse that used to live happily in the kitchen of a modest Florida home. I say “used to” because, of late, there is very little happiness in my life. To put it bluntly, I find myself unable to care for myself and my children, all because of the iRobot Roomba 535 Robotic Vacuum.

Woot, I am aware of my life as a scavenger. My parents were scavengers, as were their parents before them. I wanted nothing more than to pass on this scavenging tradition to my twenty to thirty-five boys and girls. Even when my husband left me to pursue his dream of being in show business, I never lost sight of the scavenging. But now, the Roomba 535 has made my dream impossible to achieve.

Gone are the dust and pet hair that once formed the lining of our nest. Gone are the crumbs and debris that once put food on our table. The 535’s Bristle Brush and Beater Brush work together to give floors and carpets a deep sort of clean, all the way down to the pollen and dander. The Roomba 535 even goes into the corners and under furniture. My eldest loved our family trips under the furniture. My youngest has never even been. He used to dream of the day he’d be old enough to accompany me to the sofa by the fireplace. Now the trip would be too dangerous. How do I explain that to a young one?

Woot, it’s one thing to support traps we can avoid and poison to which we grow immune. But to support the inhumanity of taking away that on which we actually live? To send in a faceless, soulless machine that answers only to the Virtual Wall Lighthouse Technology which contains it in a room until that room is fully clean? For shame, Woot. For shame.

I am a proud mother. I have never asked anyone for anything. Not even my husband, whose name I am legally unable to write here, and his long-term girlfriend. But I am asking now. Not just for myself. Not even for my family, as much as I would like to. No, I ask for the spiders that hunt in the bathroom. I ask for the little snakes that no one never sees. I ask for the opossum that sleeps in the chimney and only comes out when it hears snoring. I ask for the whole delicate ecosystem that has evolved around the dirty floors of your customers. Please, Woot, please. Never sell an iRobot Roomba Model 535 again.

Yours hopefully,

Mrs. Mouse

Warranty: 1 Year iRobot

Dell Studio 17” Core 2 Duo 2GHz Entertainment NotebookDell Studio 17” Core 2 Duo 2GHz Entertainment Notebook

Designed Intelligently

Explain this one, Darwin! And don’t think I’ll let you dodge the issue just because you’re dead!

The pseudoscientific Kommissars of “devil-ution” don’t want you to read this message, because it threatens to undermine their choke-hold on the throat of your mind. Why? Because for all their “empirical evidence” and “testable predictions”, there are a few phenomena these white-coated charlatans simply cannot explain. The sheer complexity of the human eye. The low-fat succulence of ostrich meat. The irresistible cuteness of the pygmy jerboa. And the marvelous Dell Studio 17” Red Dual Core Entertainment Notebook.

Like it or not, such a robust and specialized laptop PC must have been created by a, you guessed it, creator. I guess you’re going to tell me that its glossy 17” display, 320Gb hard drive, and 4GB DDR2 SDRAM just happened to fall into place when a stiff breeze swept through a computer-parts warehouse? Impossible! It’s even more unlikely than, say, a random Kenyan immigrant fathering the president of the United States.

And that’s before we even consider the facial-recognition software and HDMI port. Perhaps lower-order mammals could be said to possess a crude form of facial recognition. For instance, when my dog sees me, he never fails to urinate uncontrollably. But I have yet to find a single monkey that can send hi-def content to an HDTV. And I’ve tried, because an HDMI-equipped monkey would be the answer to my fondest dreams. Trust me, people, it doesn’t exist.

If evil-lution was for real, any one of my aunts could sprout testicles at any second and become my uncle. Last time I checked, that still hadn’t happened. And it hasn’t happened in all human history, from today back to when we walked with the dinosaurs. So until it sprouts wings and gills, I’ll believe that the Dell Studio 17” Red Dual Core Entertainment Notebook was made, not evolved. Got anything to say to that one, Darwin, you Galapagos turd? Hmmm?

I think not. I think not at all.

Warranty: 1 Year Dell

Pure Digital Mino 60 Minute CamcorderPure Digital Mino 60 Minute Camcorder

Bang Bang They Shot Him On The Ground

Cats and blackmail. That’s where the Pure Digital F360 Mino 60 Minute Camcorder shines.

The very tiny Pure Digital F360 Mino 60 Minute Camcorder is made for ease of use, not quality of image. The Pure Digital F360 Mino 60 Minute Camcorder knows that if you wanted to create an IMAX quality video, you’d be working to break in to the film business, not sitting in front of a computer in old, ripped underwear. Also you might want to consider turning off your webcam. We’re all friends here but really, there’s a line.

What the Pure Digital F360 Mino 60 Minute Camcorder knows is that you, with your on-the-go, jet-set lifestyle, want a camera with the ability to be with you at all times. You want to be able to fill that 2GB flash memory with memories, like when your cat falls into the bathtub by “accident”, or when that precocious three year old pours motor oil on the wedding cake by “accident”, or when you suddenly get attacked by an angry bride and her cat for no reason at all. The kind of thing you’d want to watch later, maybe even on your TV while connected to a composite cable that’s included.

And don’t forget about the pragmatic aspect of the Pure Digital F360 Mino 60 Minute Camcorder. Each day literally thousands of people do something of which they are ashamed. In just a few short hours, you can be using the built-in USB arm to transfer fixed focus images that will begin to make you 100% tax free money. Don’t get greedy and you’ll be fine. Remember the golden rule, four small incomes are better than one large one.

It doesn’t matter if you’re excited about seeing a chipmunk or just cowering in fear near the San Francisco subway cops, the Pure Digital F360 Mino 60 Minute Camcorder can make your life into a life observed.

Warranty: 90 Day Flip Digital

Nelson 360 Degree Pulsating Sprinkler – 2 PackNelson 360 Degree Pulsating Sprinkler – 2 Pack

Not Those Nelson Twins

Sure, everybody loves the Nelson 360 Degree Pulsating Sprinkler – until it puts you out of a job.

I’ve been landscaping going on 23 years now. Started as a shovel grunt, digging holes and spreading manure. Worked my way up to mower jockey, then pruner, and finally the ‘scaper’s highest aspiration: waterer. I was the best hose man in the Upper Midwest. The work was easy, I had winters off, and nobody minded if I showed up under the influence. As long as the grounds got watered, I lived like a rock star.

But then, this year, the tap ran dry. I was all psyched up for the start of another landscaping season, waiting for the call. The weather got nicer. The phone stayed quiet. Finally I rang up my boss Todd, and he says none of our clients are asking for watering this year. Todd says with the economy all tore up how it is about now, they’re all using the Nelson 360 Degree Pulsating Sprinkler.

They like how you can string a bunch of ‘em together off of one faucet. They like the adjustable sprayer head, the 90-foot spray diameter, the weighted base and stabilizing spikes. Most of all, Todd says they like being able to buy a bunch of them and use them all summer, for what they’d pay me for one day’s watering.

But Todd says he needs a manure guy. So I’m back out here with a shovel, spreading the BS and HS and who-knows-what S, just like I did when I was 19. Here’s the thing, though: these medium-duty sprinklers might be durable, but not durable enough to withstand a well-placed smack with a shovelhead. I figure a few “accidents” like that every week and I’ll be back on the hose by the 4th of July. Nice try, Nelson 360 Degree Pulsating Sprinkler. But you don’t survive 23 years in this business without learning a trick or two.

Warranty: 1 Year Nelson

Features:

• Large Rezimar head sprays water in a circular pattern up to 90 feet in diameter
• Ergonomic adjustment grips on the sprayer head control the distance and spray pattern
• 1 pound weighted Rezimar oval base with 2 metal spike stabilizers
• Metal ergonomic swivel coupling
• Full or partial circle adjustment
• Series connection allows multiple sprinklers in a row
• Metal ergo swivel coupling for easy hose connection

• Nelson 360 Degree Sprinkler

• 2 Nelson 360 Degree Pulsating Sprinkler
• 4 Metal Spikes

Dyson DC07 Cyclone Upright Vacuum CleanerDyson DC07 Cyclone Upright Vacuum Cleaner

Suck it up

A lecture from the coach

What’s this I hear about dust and dirt in the carpet and upholstery? What’s the matter with you, Dyson? Come on, suck it up!

Oh, you’re tired, is that it? Yeah, you’re tired. This is you: “Oh, I’m tired. Using cyclonic separation to take dirt out of the air with no filter, that’s hard work. Boo-hoo, feel sorry for me. I’m a spoiled, lazy, good-for-nothing who thinks that just because I’m one of the most famous names in the vacuum biz, I don’t have to go out there and give it a hundred and ten per cent every single day.”

Bullfeathers, Dyson! BULL FEATHERS. You know what? I got a hundred other vacuums who would love to have been blessed with what you’ve got. You’ve got talent, you’ve got power, you’ve got HEPA filtration. You’ve got all the tools. Stair tool, large brush tool, crevice tool.

But you know what means more than all of that put together? Attitude. Because, hey, you’re “certified asthma friendly,” that’s great. But awards and accolades, that’s not what makes a great vacuum. You know what makes a great vacuum? When a great vacuum is faced with a big, dirty pile of dirt on the floor, he sucks it up.

So right now, for example, it’s go time. We’ve got company coming over tonight, and there’s pet hair and Chee-to crumbs all over the family room. And where are you? Out there gettin’ it done? No, you’re just hanging out at the back of the linen closet, all lackadaisical-like, feeling sorry for yourself and waiting… for what? For me to come and get you?

THERE IS NO “I” IN “HOUSEKEEPING,” SON. NOT THE WAY I SPELL IT. I spell it “housekeepmyselfng.” So listen—you’ve got a choice to make. Because if you aren’t going to be serious about sweeping up dust and debris, there’s the door. But if you’re going to put the necessary work in… Well, you’ve got the talent, there’s no question about that. So I only have one question for you. Do you want to be one of the greatest vacuum cleaners of your generation?

THEN GET OUT THERE AND SUCK IT UP.

All right, bring it in here. “Vacuum” on three, go. ONETWOTHREE VACUUM.

Warranty: 6 Month Dyson

Asus EeePC 900 NetbookAsus EeePC 900 Netbook

Domestic Bliss

“Upstairs? Sounds serious. What is it, dear?”

“Darling, it’s about the customers.”

“The customers? Did they do something in school today? I swear, if I have to pay for one more dead hamster, I’m gonna take my belt and-”

“No, darling, no, nothing like that. They’re just… well, they’re getting to that age.”

“I’m getting the picture. You want us to do a writeup explaining where babies come from.”

“What? No! The customers are just asking for a Kindle!”

“A Kindle? Wow. That’s a big responsibility. You have to walk it, and clean up after it, and make sure it’s fed… I don’t know if someone like our customers could handle a Kindle. Some of them don’t even read our writeups every day.”

“I know, dear. But when you look in their sad faces… oh, it breaks my heart to say no!”

“You want me to get my belt?”

“No! Well… No! But there has to be a solution!”

“I think there is, darling. When I was a young customer, I also wanted a Kindle. It was new, and flashy, and all the rage. I thought it would make me look cool. But instead, my parents got me an Asus EeePC 900 Netbook.”

“An Asus EeePC 900 Netbook? What a great idea! It’s so small, and cute! Just like a Kindle, but better!”

“It does a lot more, too! With 4 gigs of storage, there’s plenty of room for music and books, and video too. Plus you can do things like email and programming and surfing the web. Here, take a look at this old photo of me with my Asus EeePC 900 Netbook.”

“This is a photo of your belt.”

“Oh, sorry. Try this one.”

“Aw. It’s such a cute little 8.9 inch display. Is that Galaxy Black?”

“Yeah. I wanted Pearl White, but when I saw that Asus EeePC 900 Netbook, it was love at first sight. Did you know it runs Linux? And has 512 megs of DDR2 Memory?”

“HD Audio and built-in speakers too! And it’s got a rapid start-up time as well as 802.11b/g WiFi that automatically connects… oh, dear!”

“Well, well. Someone’s been doing a little homework!”

“Oh… I suppose I have been. Maybe I kind of want an Asus EeePC 900 Netbook around the house as well. My parents never let me have one as a girl. I always dreamed of dressing up the built-in card reader and having a tea party. It’s silly, I know…”

“Guess that’s the majority vote, then.”

“Oh, darling… you mean…”

“Tell you what, honey, let’s inform the customers at Midnight, Central time. We’ll tell them they’re getting an Asus EeePC 900 Netbook. And if they can prove themselves, maybe they’ll get a Kindle in a few years, when the prices come down.”

“You’re thinking they’ll forget about it by then?”

“I’m sure they will. And if they don’t, there’s always the belt.”

“I love you, honey.”

“More than the Asus EeePC 900 Netbook, I hope!”

“Hmmm. maybe just a little more. NO, NOT THE BELT! A LOT MORE! A LOT MORE! Oh, you were just joking. I love you so much.”

Warranty: 90 Day Asus

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Overview:

• White Open
• White Keyboard
• White Left Profile
• White Right Profile
• Black Left Profile
• Black Right Profile
• Black Keyboard

In the box:

• Asus EeePC 900 Netbook
• Customer Service Sheet
• Rechargeable Netbook Battery Pack
• AC Adapter and Cord
• Linux Recovery DVD
• User’s Manual

Smartparts 8” LCD Picture FrameSmartparts 8” LCD Picture Frame

One Rung Below “Sidekick”

Being a personal assistant to a superhero isn’t as exciting as it sounds.

Every once in a while, you might zap some villain with a teleportation ray, or temporarily gain super-powers as a side effect of your exposure to alien radiation. But it’s mostly looking up criminal dossiers on the computer and scheduling cable-news interviews. And always, always, always making coffee. Do you have any idea how much coffee these people need just to function? If some megalomaniac could figure out a way to make all the world’s coffee disappear, he could take over the planet in an afternoon.

Of course, a lot of it depends on who your boss is. The Retributator? Total baby. God forbid somebody give him a sandwich with the crusts still on. Nightwitch? Yeah, I’d spell that last part with a capital B. I worked for her for three years and she never bothered to learn my name. But General Freedom was a pretty nice old guy. Low-maintenance, too. I spent most of my time loading pictures of his grandkids onto his Smartparts 8” Digital Picture Frame.

When he wasn’t on a case, he loved to sit there and look at those 800×600 pics. “Look, here’s little Kalen in a tutu,” he’d say, tapping the screen. “That boy’s going to be a hell of a dancer someday.” Later, I’d wipe the fingerprint smudge off of the screen. It was easy, since the LCD screen’s covered by a pane of regular old glass. What wasn’t always easy was sitting through the endless slideshows of his grandkids. When I say “endless”, I’m not kidding. The frame can read directly from SDHC cards and Flash drives. But General Freedom was a sweet old man, so I didn’t mind that much.

Nightwitch, on the other hand, whew…in fact, this very same photo frame was the catalyst for me quitting that job. She wanted to hang it on the wall of her lair or whatever, which is fine, but it still had the power cord hanging down to the outlet. And she didn’t like that. I tried to explain it had to be plugged in. She didn’t care. She just expected me to unplug it and make it work. And she started getting nasty about it. So I was like “Conjure yourself up another flunkie. I’m gone.”

A lot of people don’t know this, but that’s actually the origin of The Ogre. True story.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• 8” LCD with 800×600 resolution
• Displays photos, music, or video files directly from SD, SDHC, or USB drive
• Built in 128mb of internal memory to display photos, music, or video
• Enhance sideshows with music
• Interchangeable photo frame
• Remote control for easy operation
• Automatic variable speed slide show
• Plays most major video formats
• USB connection for easy file transfer
• Automatic rotation of vertical pictures
• Auto-resizing to store more photos
• Plays WMA music files
• Embedded OptixPro software helps you display photos, power point slides, or PDF files

Specifications:

• 8” LCD Display
• 800×600 Resolution
• SD/SDHC/MS/MMC/CF/xD Memory Card Support
• IR Remote Control
• 100 – 240V, 50-60 Hz
• 10.6”x9” Genuine Wood Frame
• Ebony Black Finish
• Weight: 2 lbs
• 128mb Internal Memory

• Back Profile with Interface Panel
• Menu Controls
• Outer Frame with Matting

In the box:

• Digital Picture Frame
• Remote Control
• Removable Picture Frame
• AC Power Adapter
• USB Cable