MSI Wind Top All-In-One 18.5” Touchscreen PCMSI Wind Top All-In-One 18.5” Touchscreen PC

We’re minutes from total catastrophe.

MINUTES. You’re the best in the business. We really need a decision on this right now.

A panic ran through my body as I realized they were talking to me. I’d kind of spaced out there.

“Right,” I said, affecting a tone that I hoped would say “I’ve been paying attention all along.” What were they even talking about? A decision on what, specifically? My eyes started to water. My hair stood on end. My core body temperature dropped. The contents of my bowel went liquid.

“Uh, hmm,” I said, and started tapping on my MSi touchscreen PC, the very thing that had gotten me into this mess. With its sexy, modern 18.5-inch Touch Widescreen and cool, quasiMac styling, it makes me seem smart, important, and up to speed on recent technological developments, none of which, truth be told, I am, even a little.

Tap, tap, tap. I tried to play it off like I was doing some last-minute figuring about whatever it was we’d been discussing, and I wondered if anyone had a good enough angle on my screen to see that I was just playing Minesweeper.

Curse this touchscreen PC! It’s not even anything super special—it only uses netbook tech, an Intel Atom 330 Processor. But it looks so cool. If I had only left it at home! But no, the second these guys saw me in the lobby with the MSi touchscreen under my arm, they took me for that million-dollar, major-league consultant they called, and whisked me into a series of meetings on incomprehensible topics—almost all of it totally over my head, but I did distinctly hear something about an imminent meltdown at three plants simultaneously—and by then it was way too late to say “guys, I’m here from the temp agency, they only sent me to answer the phones.”

So there we were, standing in front of the control panel for the whole southeast regional grid, and I didn’t have to be Doc Oppenheimer to know that the flashing red lights weren’t good news. I took a deep breath and tried to sound casual.

“Um,” I said, “have you tried rebooting?”

Warranty: One Year MSI

Features:

• Display: 18.5” Touch Widescreen (16:9), 1366×768
• CPU: Intel Dual Core 1.6GHz Atom 330  processor on board
• Operation System: Windows Vista Home Basic
• Dimension: 14.37” x 18.74” x 1.93”
• FSB: 533 MHz
• Chipset: Northbridge – Intel® 945GC; Southbridge – Intel ICH7
• Graphics: Integrated Intel® GMA950 graphics core, Share memory up to 228MB
• Memory: 2GB DDRII 533MHz SDRAM
• Memory Slot: 1 x SODIMM memory slot (occupied)
• Hard Drive: 250GB SATA Hard Disk Drive, RPM5400
• Optical Disk Drive: Tray-load DVD Super Multi rewriter drive, support dual-layer burning
• Card Reader: 4-in-1 card reader (support SD, MMC, MS and XD)
• Webcam: 1.3MP Webcam with Microphone
• Audio: Realtek ALC888 HD Audio;Compliant with Azalia 1.0 specs
• Speakers: Two 3 watt Speakers with SRS Premium Sound
• LAN: Realtek RTL8111C 10/100/1000 Gigabit Controller for PCI Express Applications; Compliant with PCI 2.3
• Support ACPI Power Management
• Wireless LAN: 802.11b/g/n
• 4 Total USB ports
• Power Supply External 65W Power Adapter with Active PFC

Side I/O Ports:

• 4-in-1 Card Reader (support SD/MMC/MS/XD)
• 2 x USB 2.0

Rear I/O:

• 1 x DC-in jack
• 2 x USB 2.0
• 1 x LAN jack (RJ45)
• 1 x Mic.-in
• 1 x Headphone-out

Keyboard & Mouse:

• Color-matched multimedia keyboard and mouse
• Hot keys on keyboard to control screen brightness (plus/minus)
• Function buttons to control Internet Brower, Email, Volume (plus/minus)Rewind, Stop, Play/Pause and Fast Forward

LCD Specifications:

• Size: 16.13” (H) x 9.07” (V) (18.5” diagonal)
• Touch Screen
• Anti-glare
• Resolution: WXGA (1366×768 pixels)
• Surface: 3H Hard-coating
• Brightness: 250cd/m2
• Contrast Ratio: 1000:1
• Viewing Angle: 170° Horizontal, 160° Vertical
• Color: 16.7 millions of colors
• Response: 5 ms
• Pixel Pitch: 0.3mm (H) x 0.3mm (V)

Additional Photos:

• AE1900-05SUS White 18.5” Touchscreen PC
• AE1900-05SUS White 18.5” Touchscreen PC Back
• AE1900-05SUS White 18.5” Touchscreen PC Back Ports
• AE1900-05SUS White 18.5” Touchscreen PC Front Ports
• AE1900-05SUS White 18.5” Touchscreen PC Keyboard
• AE1900-05SUS White 18.5” Touchscreen PC Mouse
• AE1900-10SUS Black 18.5” Touchscreen PC
• AE1900-10SUS Black 18.5” Touchscreen PC Back
• AE1900-10SUS Black 18.5” Touchscreen PC Back Port
• AE1900-10SUS Black 18.5” Touchscreen PC Front Ports
• AE1900-10SUS Black 18.5” Touchscreen PC Keyboard
• AE1900-10SUS Black 18.5” Touchscreen PC Mouse

In the box:

• MSI Wind Top AIO 18.5” Touchscreen PC (Choose Black or White)
• Power Adapter
• Power Cord
• ES300MU Multimedia Slim USB Keyboard
• ES130 800 DPI Optical Scrolling USB Mouse
• LCD Display Wiper
• User Manual & Quick Guide
• Driver Utility Disk
• Blank DVD Disk for System Recovery

Inset photo credit: Nicholas T

Inset photo credit: mindfulness

VuPoint Film & Slide Digital ConverterVuPoint Film & Slide Digital Converter

Roll Player

Now that my Bruce has passed on, it’s all the more important that I preserve the hundreds of rolls of film and slides of our time together.

Oh, Bruce was a real shutterbug. The only thing he was more devoted to than that camera was his family. Holidays, business trips, at the park with the kids, or just a normal day around the house: my Bruce was always snapping away. It was like being married to a Japanese tourist. I wish I had a nickel for every nickel he spent at the Fotomat – and even then he never managed to get all of this film developed. But now I can scan it with the VuPoint Film & Slide Digital Converter.

With images of up to 5 megapixels, our old memories spring into vivid life thanks to the automatic color balance and exposure. The included Arcsoft Photoimpression 6 software makes it easy to enhance and edit these photos, even for somebody like me who’s not too good with the Photoshop. Wherever you are, Bruce, I’m remembering you tonight.

So many good times. So many wonderful memories, so close to my heart. Oooh, here’s a roll from Bruce’s trip to the 1975 Central States Heating & Cooling Installers Association Convention in Duluth. I’ve never even seen these pictures. Let’s just scan these in, and…hmmm, it must be mislabeled. This is Bruce playing with the kids – no, no, wait, that’s a little boy and we don’t have any sons. Must be a nephew or something. That was my Bruce, always so good with children. Oh, look, wedding photos! What a nice surpr- wait. Wait a minute. This isn’t me.

That’s Bruce, but that woman is not me.

Who the hell is she? Who is this woman, Bruce? What are you doing with your arm around her? Why are you opening Christmas presents with these people? Who’s the little boy tottering on the brand-new Huffy? I should’ve known nobody would be making “sales trips” on Christmas. He said it was the best time to sell to his Buddhist clients. What an idiot I must’ve been! My beloved husband, living a double life all those years! And me, too stupid to know it! But now I know it all! Every bitter detail in living color, now that it’s too late to matter! Oh, yes, I know everything now, thanks to the VuPoint Film & Slide Digital Converter! Damn you for destroying my illusions, VuPoint Film & Slide Digital Converter! Damn you for ruining 40 years of beautiful memories! Damn you!

Warranty: 1 Year VuPoint

Features:

• Convert 35mm slides and negatives to digital files
• Convert up to 5.0 mega pixel quality images
• Automatic color balance and exposure
• Convert color or monochrome negatives
• No additional power source needed, used USB 2.0 port for data and power

Specifications:

• Image Sensor: 5 Mega pixels CMOS sensor
• Frame Rate (Max): 5 Mega pixels (2592×1944) 2 fps, SXGA (1280×960) 15 fps
• Lens: Fno=2.0, Half-field angle = 15°, 4 glass elements
• Focus Range: Fixed Focus
• Exposure Control: Automatic
• Color Balance: Automatic
• Scan high resolution: 5 Mega pixels equals to 1829 dpi enhanced 3600 dpi
• Interface: USB 2.0
• Data conversion: 10 bits per color channel
• Scan method: Single pass
• Light source: Back light (3 white LED)
• Power: USB port
• Dimension (LxHxW): 3.5” x 6.5” x 3.5”
• Weight: 16 oz.
• System Requirements: Windows XP

In the box:

• VuPoint FSC1VPBX2 Film & Digital Slide Converter
• 35mm Film Strip
• Mounted Slide Tray
• Cleaning Brush
• Software CD

Vortex Portable Mixer – 2 PackVortex Portable Mixer – 2 Pack

Impress The Girl With The Mousy Hair

The Vortex is the most effective and powerful handheld drink mixer known to humankind. And from what our intelligence tells us, it could be the most powerful handheld mixer in the known Universe.

Ever since ancient times, humankind has struggled to create a handheld drink mixer that would give us mastery of the cosmic secrets of Powered Mixology. Many brave mixolognauts have given their lives in this struggle. But now, finally, the secret is revealed. With a 9000 rpm motor, the Vortex Portable Mixing Glass is our last, best hope for victory over those ridiculous probing aliens.

That’s right, the aliens. That’s what they’re here for. Those abductions and probes have all been to keep us afraid, to keep us down, to keep us from finally inventing a way to mix powdered lemonade or chocolate milk or even protein shakes without even using a blender. But guess what, aliens? It didn’t work. It didn’t work beyond your wildest dreams. Because the Vortex is not just for drinks. The Vortex can also mix up eggs, marinades, instant pudding, even cocktails! This ultra portable 18 ounce mixing glass is easy to transport and fun to use, and you’ll be getting two of them, letting you double fist your mixing. And, of course, you’ll also be defeating aliens each and every time your Vortex whips you up a drink.

That’s because each Vortex Portable Mixing Glass is powered by a stable wormhole tunnel that connects directly to the central power control located in the center of the Montauk Project’s headquarters deep under the surface of 18th Century Mars. If you’re ever there, just take a left at the giant marble horse statue and go down the hall. It’s the door on the right. If you see the timelocked USS Eldridge you’ve gone too far. And naturally, you’ll need two AA batteries to trigger this wormhole tunnel and get your Vortex Portable Mixing Glass in contact with central power. But the first two AA batteries are included, just to get you started off right. Think of it as our way of putting Earth first.

Those aliens would do anything to get their hands on this Vortex technology. Be careful. We’re willing to give all humans a two pack of Vortex Portable Mixing Glasses because we know we can trust our own. But once you have them, protect them at any cost! Because right now, around Alpha Centauri, there’s a Grey who wants to make chocolate milk and then breed. And he doesn’t want to use a spoon. He wants to use a Vortex Portable Mixing Glass and your wife or daughter.

Be strong, fellow humans! Vortex for victory!

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• 18 ounce mug with 9000 rpm motor creates a vortex at a push of a button and mixes your drink
• Completely blends any type of powder instantly, won’t leave clumps of powder
• Easy to clean, add water and a drop of soap into Vortex and turn it on and within 30 seconds it will be clean
• Great for making Energy Drinks, Baby Formula, Cocktails, Eggs, Marinades, Jello, Juices, or mixing cream and sugar for Coffee
• Leak proof lid
• 2 1/2” diameter base, fits in most car cup holders
• Glass height without the lid is 6 3/4”
• Glass height with lid is 7 3/4”
• Made out of durable stainless steel and acrylic
• BPA free
• Operates on 2 AAA batteries (Included)

Additional Photos:

• Vortex 18oz. Portable Mixing Glass
• Leak Proof Lid
• Vortex Portable Mixing Glass in Action

In the box:

• 2 Vortex 18oz. Portable Mixing Glasses
• 2 Acrylic Lids
• 4 AAA Batteries

Hoover Windtunnel Cyclonic Bagless Upright VacuumHoover Windtunnel Cyclonic Bagless Upright Vacuum

Grime Does Not Pay!

“You tell Hoover he’ll never take me alive! No vacuum cleaner on Earth can stop Dirty Boy Floord!”

“Give yourself up, Floord! The carpet is surrounded! We know you’re hiding in there somewhere!”

“Come and get me! I’m dug in down here, deep in the fibers! No way you’ve got the firepower to roust me!”

“You’re wrong, Floord! Hoover’s called in the big guns! We’re talking about WindTunnel technology! And once you’ve been snared by that, the Cyclonic Suction will work you over in the dirt chamber! Even if you run, we’ve got a 28-foot cord! With the multi-surface brush roll, not even hard floors are safe! You don’t stand a chance, Floord!”

“I heard that before! I’m still here, ain’t I?”

“That’s what Dirtinger said, too! And Bonnie & Crud, and Messy Face Nelson! Seen them lately, Floord? No, you haven’t – they’re in the dustbin!”

“Aww, blow it out your HEPA filter! I’m done talking!”

“Have it your way, Floord. Fire it up, Killigan.”

VHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Aaaagghhh! Mama! They- they got meeee-”

“That’s him, Chief. There he goes, Dirty Boy Floord, right into the dirt chamber. Anything else I can do here?”

“Yeah, search his car for women’s underwear.”

“But – why -”

“Orders from higher-up, Killigan. Way higher-up.”

Warranty: 6 month Hoover warranty

Features:

• Multi-chamber cyclonic system for excellent dirt separation
• Easy empty bottom release dirt cup, does not require bags
• Cord Rewind with 28’ Cord, retracts quickly and easily at the push of a button
• Lifetime HEPA Filter, traps 100% of dust mites, ragweed and common grass pollens
• Multi-Surface Brush Roll Control
• 14 foot Cleaning Reach with Hose and Wands
• Onboard Tools: Pet Hair Cleaning Tool, Combination Dusting Brush and Upholstery Tool, 2 Extension Wands, Crevice Tool
• Bottom Release Dirt Cup
• Fingertip On/Off Controls
• Large Soft Wheels
• 15” WidePath Nozzle
• Carpet Height Adjustment
• Dimensions: 31” x 15” x 13” (assembled: 44” x 15” x 13”)

In the box:

• Hoover WindTunnel + Cyclonic Upright Bagless Vacuum (color may vary)
• Pet Hair Cleaning Tool
• Combination Dusting Brush and Upholstery Tool
• 2 Extension Wands
• Crevice Tool

Cuisinart Grind & Brew 10-Cup Coffee Maker with Gold Tone FilterCuisinart Grind & Brew 10-Cup Coffee Maker with Gold Tone Filter

O Caputonia, Our Home And Native Bungalow

I, Imperial Generalissimo Jerry Caputo, hereby declare the Cuisinart Grind and Brew the official coffeemaker of the people’s kingdom of Caputonia!

Once the thrill of independence starts to fade, you realize that declaring your house a sovereign nation is a lot of work. There are stamps to print, monuments to erect, bribes to accept. And for a young nation like mine, not yet certain of its place in the post-colonial world, cross-border tensions are always running high, especially with that nosy old bat next door who defaced the Caputonian flag I erected on top of the privacy fence. She keeps saying that it’s “her” fence and threatening to sue, as if a U.S. court has any jurisdiction over Caputonian affairs.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to be the Imperial Generalissimo. But despite the unanimous support of the population (me and my three goldfish), the business of the state wears heavily on such a small government staff (me and my three goldfish). So I often indulge in a time-honored Caputonian tradition that I just invented: brewing up a cup or two with the national Cuisinart Grind and Brew Cofeemaker. It’s fully programmable, does both the grinding and the brewing, and when I’m late for an international summit or a public beheading, the Brew Pause feature lets me grab a sip or two before the whole pot is done. I like the goldtone permanent filter so much I’ve already promoted it to Minister of Economic Money Business. Don’t worry, it’ll still have time to carry out its coffee-filtering duties. It’s mostly a ceremonial position.

Now, I have to send my top espionage agent (me) on a mission to gather information on the capabilities of the U.S. convenience-store industry. In my absence, affairs of state will be run by the Parliamentary Congress of Senators (my three goldfish). But rest assured, fellow Caputonians, that I’ll swiftly return to my beloved motherland. And my beloved Cuisinart Grind and Brew Cofeemaker, with its elegant Ital- er, Caputonian styling.

Warranty: 90 Day Cuisinart

Features:

• Enjoy delicious gourmet coffee at home
• Grinds your favorite whole coffee beans just before brewing
• Grind off control lets you turn the grinder off when using preground coffee
• Gold tone reusable coffee filter basket so you will never run out of filters again
• Removeable grind chamber and filter basket with lid are dishwasher safe for easier cleaning 
• Double-wall, insulated, brushed metal, thermal carafe keeps up to 10 (5 oz.)cups of coffee hot for hours
• Coffee brews through, and pours through, a unique, self-sealing lid into a double-wall insulated thermal carafe to keep it fresh and hot for hours
• A charcoal water filter and a permanent commercial-style gold tone coffee filter let only pure coffee flavor flow through
• Water reservoir with water level indicator
• Showerhead distributes water evenly over coffee reducing temperature loss as water passes through grounds
• Brew Pause feature lets you enjoy a cup before brewing has finished
• Can be programmed to brew 1- 4 or 5+  cups of coffee at one time
• Program a start time up to 24 hours in advance
• Streamlined European design and smooth brushed stainless steel
• Automatically shuts off when brewing is complete
• Standard paper coffee filters can be used
• Cord storage

Additional Photos:

• Gold Tone Permanent Filter
• Coffee Grinder

In the box:

• Cuisinart Grind & Brew 10-Cup Coffee Maker
• Cuisinart Gold Tone Filter
• Scoop
• Carbon Filter
• Paper Basket Filter Starter Kit

Vornado 3 Speed Mid Size Air CirculatorVornado 3 Speed Mid Size Air Circulator

Take This Broken Wind

I like tacos as much as the next guy at the office. But every day, Tom? Every day? I’m done trying to reason with you. This is a job for the Vornado.

Normally I’m the kind of guy who’d say it’s your business what you eat. As for what you’re doing to your digestive system, that’s between you and your gastroenterologist. But you don’t seem to recognize that this is an office made up of cubicles. Cubicles that are close together. Cubicles that are decidedly not airtight. Cubicles full of people routinely sickened every afternoon by the foulness you bring upon us.

Since you’ve resisted my gifts of PB&Js and Beano, and the HR department claims it’s powerless to take action, I’m calling in the Vornado 630B Circulator Fan. This 13” tall, 9.25” fan – much bigger than the Vornado Clip sold previously at Woot – can push air like John Entwistle’s bass amp, with three speeds moving air up to 70 feet. The only thing I wonder is whether it’s ever been tested under the intense battle conditions you create in this office every day. But you go to war with the fan you have, right?

The ones I really feel sorry for are the poor saps in the downwind cubicles. But I’ve suffered long enough. If they don’t like it, they can give me an office with walls.

Warranty: 5 Year Vornado

Features:

• 3 speed air control that can push air up to 70 feet
• Directable airflow provides movement of air at any angle – up stairs, down a hallway, room to room and everywhere in between
• Light, portable, and is easy to carry allowing comfort wherever you are
• Improves your heating and cooling system by helping to circulate the air inside of a room
• Whisper quiet and superior performance
• Ideal for den, home office, hearth room, dining room, or the average bedroom
• Removable grill and blade for easy cleaning and maintenance
• Permanently lubricated motor that does not require oiling
• Weight: 6.61 lbs.
• 13.60” tall with a 9.25” grill diameter
• Usage: Small to Midsize Room

In the box:

• Vornado 630B Circulator Fan
• Owners Manual

Flush LightFlush Light

Drive Home Safely Everybody

You’re at the end of another woot off. Don’t forget to flush.

Now some of you may be wondering why you’d need a Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light. Some of us were wondering the same thing. That’s why we’ve gone ahead and made a nice little list of the ways the Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light can change your life.

Way Number One: The Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light helps you find the toilet handle.

We’ve all done the sleepy stagger into the bathroom to take care of kidney business. But it’s just rude to leave without flushing. The Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light will serve as a little reminder that your duty is not done until you push down the handle. Plus it’s so easy to install. Assuming you’re comfortable following the easy instructions about how to open your toilet and replace a handle. It’s not really very hard.

Way Number Two: The Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light Makes Your Toilet A Collectable.

Imagine the joy on your Trekker friend’s face when he comes back from meeting “Flushutus Of Borg”. Or your Caprican buddy’s thrill to find you’ve got a very early Cylon prototype in your bathroom. Soon you’ll be a tourist stop for people who just have to own or see everything connected to their favorite television show. Our advice: add LCARS toilet paper and sell pizza rolls. That’s how they do it in Vegas.

Way Number Three: The Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light can help with self-defense.

The major advantage of the Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light is just the same as the major advantage of being Batman. The ability to inspire great fear in the cowardly criminal element. Think of how it would feel to be a burglar, creeping quietly through a strange house. Your senses are heightened. One mistake and it’s over. Then, suddenly, you see a little red dot. Everyone knows what that little red dot means, especially a burglar. Any sensible burglar would just turn and run. And so the Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light could keep you safe. Or, at least, save you from dirtying up your real weapon. It’ll be a collectable one day. And bullets cost money. Who are you, Bruce Wayne? You can’t just throw cash out the window for a stupid burglar!

Way Number Four: The Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light can be used in outsider art.

Them big city folk love to find outsider art. Partly because they find it challenging, and partly because it lets them say things like “Imagine what he’d produce if he’d gone to art school!” which makes them feel superior. But who cares what they say as long as the checks cash, are we right? Grab a handful of Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Lights and a little bit of creek mud and you’ve suddenly got a piece of art that maybe compares politics to a toilet or something. Keep those ideas simple and you’ll be a millionaire.

Way Number Five: The Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light could save lives in case of an accident.

There’s a blackout. And an earthquake. And a flood. And box of electricity falls into the flooded chasm. Plus just at that moment, a new freeway is opening. You’ve got to find a red light so all those cars know they have to stop. But who has a red light just lying around? Unless… the Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light! With the included nine volt battery, you’re set to be the hero of the night. It might even get you on The View. And won’t those ladies love to know you’re an outsider artist (see way number four above)?

Way Number Six: A Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light Can Make A Really Cool Fashion Accessory

Who needs the 70s gigolo hat and cane? You’re a cyber-pimp! A Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light makes the most useless cane in history, and as we know, useless is the height of fashion. With one of these, some steampunk goggles, a cool furry hat, and some yellow pants with blue stripes, you could totally own the runways of Paris. It’s all about attitude anyway. Let ‘em stare.

So there you are. Six ways the Luminosity Toilet Flush Handle Night Light can change your life. Take your time. Think it over. They’ll be here until Midnight central. And we’re sure you’ll agree, this is one item you can’t afford to be without.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Unique Flush Handle Night Light replaced an ordinary front mounted handle
• A night light for sleepy time visits, and conveniently located in your new flush handle
• Soft, sleep-friendly touch
• Automatic turn off
• Glows in the Dark
• Easy to install
• Requires 9 volt battery (Included)
• Hidden click release

In the box:

• Flush Light
• 9 Volt Battery

Screaming Monkey with Woot CapeScreaming Monkey with Woot Cape

The Color Of Monkey

Think you’ve got them all? Well, we just changed that! Yeah, we’re always changin’ stuff. We’re crazy like that.

These Woot Screaming Monkeys are dressed in orange or purple, and man, can they scream! Like a newborn baby or your mom after you drop a brick on her foot. Don’t test that, please. You should be respectful to your mom.

These monkeys can also fly across the room, or out of your office window and across the street. We’ve tested it. It really works. Nothing can relieve and increase stress at the same time like hitting your boss in the face with a monkey.

You know you want this little piece of Woot propaganda. People are still begging for the buckets. This is your shot at the big time. Get in on the ground floor.

Shock-Duel Shocking GameShock-Duel Shocking Game

“Thank you, gentlemen. Eternal battle for the domination of the world begins.”

So maybe it isn't as high tech as Domination, but then you're no Sean Connery either.

Warranty: 90 Day Warranty Jumpin Banana

Features:

• Each player must grip a handle provided and see who can hold on the longest
• Shock elevates and becomes longer in duration as the game is continued
• After 5 seconds the shock will stop and then restart again, only the shock levels will continue to increase until somebody gives in and can take it no more
• The contestant that lets go of their handle first is the loser
• 1 handle requires (3) AAA batteries (not included)

In the box:

• Jumpin Banana JB1079 Shock-Duel Shocking Game

Todd’s Dirt SeasoningsTodd’s Dirt Seasonings

Greatness Thrust Upon Them

Hey. Dirty. Baby, I got your flavorings.

“Waiter, what’s this on my chicken?”

“It eez zee Dairt, zir.”

“Dirt? That’s disgusting! Take this back right now and-”

“New, new, zair. Zee Dairt, she ees zee flavair. Zee Dairt makes zee zteak into zee GREAT zteak! She makes zee cheecan into zee GREAT cheecan!”

“Dirt is a seasoning?”

“Oui. You put hair on zee corn, you get zee GREAT corn! You put hair on zee turkay, you get zee GREAT turkay!”

“And crabs?”

“Ah, zir is zee gourmand! Zee Dairt alzo comez in zee crab variety. Zee Crabbay Dairt. Add hair to zee zhrimp, you get zee GREAT zhrimp! Add hair to zee zcallopz, you get zee GREAT zcallopz!”

“I think I get it now. Dirt is a flavorful seasoning mix that can make anything a little better, from soup to fish and back again.”

“Ah! Zir! You have zee ezzanze of eet! Add it to gravy, make zee GREAT gravy!”

“Well, I guess it does seem delicious. Oops! I’m so sorry, I spilled that container of Dirt all over the floor!”

“Mon Dieu! You have made zee floor… a GREAT floor!”

“Let me just clear that up with this napkin. Oh, no, it’s all over the linen.”

“Sacre Bleu! You have made zee napkin… a GREAT napkin!”

“Oh, maybe I could put it in this glass…”

“Madre De Dios! Zee, glass, she eez zee GREAT glass! Zir, zir, please! Do not touch anything else, for you are like King Midas, no? My humble bistro cannot handle the glory!”

“But, it’s still all over the place! Look, I’m so sorry. Let me at least shake your hand. Oh, guess I got a little of that Dirt on you too.”

“On… Zir. I must… I never knew… for all my life, I have dreamed… that one day… I would become zee great chef. And now… zee Dairt… zir, I will not waste this opportunity. I’ll change the world! You’ll see, zir, you’ll see! Thank you! Thank you again!”

“Okay! Whatever! Wow, those French guys really are serious about their spices.”

Warranty: None, it's dirt

Features:

THE ORIGINAL Todd’s DIRT

• Container Size: 2.75 oz.
• A true gourmet seasoning made with 14 spices, which is 100% all natural
• No MSG, Gluten or any other junk
• A mild seasoning that brings out all the flavor on the food that it is on
• Fantastic on all kinds of meats
• Transforms an ordinary piece of steak into a great steak
• Great on the grill, in the oven, or in the crock pot
• Seasons beef, pork, chicken, turkey, crabs, potatoes, rice, pasta, corn on the cob, eggs, stuffing, and more
• Anything you would put salt and pepper on is better with DIRT
• Use in your favorite recipes, marinades, soups and gravies

THE CRABBY DIRT

• Container Size: 3.25 oz.
• A unique gourmet Chesapeake Bay style seasoning made with 20 spices
• 100% all natural
• No MSG, Gluten or any other junk
• Todd’s own special variation on the Chesapeake Bay Seasonings from the past mixed with the THE ORIGINAL Todd’s DIRT
• Great on fish, crabs, shrimp, scallops or in your favorite crab cake recipe
• Seasons Chicken, chili, BBQ, steaks, popcorn, french fries or in a Bloody DIRTY Mary

In the box:

• 2.75 oz. Container of The Original Todd’s Dirt
• 3.25 oz. Container of Todd’s Crabby Dirt